Parasocial Relationships in Vertical Dramas: Fandom, Boundaries & Support

posted on May 27

🎭 Parasocial Relationships in the Vertical Space: When Fandom Feels Personal

Imagine this: you’re scrolling through your favorite vertical drama app. You binge a series that totally consumes you—it’s emotional, addictive, and your favorite actor is in it. Excited, you head to Instagram to send them a heartfelt DM. After all, they often reply to fans, and you were so kind in your message!

But days pass… no reply. Maybe they left you on read. No heart, no comment, nothing. Suddenly, you feel dismissed. You weren’t rude. You didn’t cross a line. So… why does it hurt so much?

If that situation sounds familiar—or even mildly relatable—you might be experiencing the effects of a parasocial relationship.

💡 What Is a Parasocial Relationship?

A parasocial relationship is a one-sided emotional bond. One person (you, the fan) invests time, attention, and emotion into someone who doesn’t know them personally—like an actor, influencer, or fictional character.

Despite the lack of real interaction, the connection feels real. You might feel like you know them deeply. You’ve seen their behind-the-scenes content, watched interviews, or interacted with their posts. That familiarity can feel like friendship. But here’s the truth:

It’s not a mutual relationship. And that’s okay.

🧵 My Fangirl Perspective

Let me be clear—I proudly call myself a fangirl. I’ve been part of fandoms, gone to cons, and even had lucky moments chatting with creators and cast members. I LOVE this space and the community that comes with it. But I also understand the difference between admiration and expectation.

Being a fan is powerful. But expecting a personal relationship in return can lead to disappointment—or even misplaced anger.

⚠️ The Boundaries We Must Respect

Sometimes we forget that our faves are real people with:

Deadlines
Mental health needs
Hundreds (if not thousands) of unread DMs

Even if they’re active online, they’re not obligated to respond to every message. Some might not even see yours. That’s not a sign of disrespect—it’s a reflection of human limits.

“But others got a reply, why not me?”
“I pay to watch their shows, they owe us something!”

Let’s address those:

📬 Different people have different boundaries. Just because one actor responds often doesn’t mean they all must.
💸 Paying for content doesn’t equal personal access. You’re supporting their work, not buying a relationship.

Think of it this way: you’d never expect a Hollywood A-lister to answer your DMs just because you saw their movie. In the Vertical space, the actors may seem closer—but they deserve the same boundaries.

🤝 Be a Supportive Fan

Should you stop DMing your favorite actors?
Of course not.

Send kind words. Cheer them on. Comment on their posts. But release the expectation of a reply. If they do respond—amazing! If not, your support still matters.

Being a good fan means:

💕 Supporting their work publicly
🧠 Respecting their personal space privately
🌟 Celebrating others in the fandom without comparing interactions

🧡 Let’s Keep VertiLand a Positive Place

One of the best parts of the Vertical space is how connected we feel to the creatives. It’s rare in entertainment—and we’re lucky to have it.

So let’s treasure it. Let’s protect it. Let’s be kind, not only to the people we admire, but to each other.

Vertical fans are some of the most passionate, creative, and fun people I’ve met online. Let’s continue to uplift, not demand.