Being a Fan Part 2 – Why Respect Matters in Fandoms

posted on August 9

In a previous FanTalk about Being a Fan, we explored parasocial relationships and how to manage them from a fan’s perspective.
Today, let’s continue the conversation with Being a Fan – Part 2, focusing on one of the most important (and sometimes forgotten) parts of fandom culture: respect.

When Excitement Crosses the Line

Imagine this: You’ve just come home from a long day at work, you’re exhausted, but your phone lights up with a notification — your favorite actor is live on Instagram! You join the stream with a smile, enjoying the interaction… until you notice a few comments that make you wince.

They’re personal, intrusive, or just plain inappropriate. While your favorite actor ignores them, you can’t help wondering, Why would someone write that?

The answer often lies in blurred boundaries. Because many celebrities are friendly with their fans, some people start believing they have a personal friendship with them. This false sense of closeness can lead to crossing lines — asking private questions, making awkward requests, or assuming a level of intimacy that simply isn’t there.

Let’s be clear:
We are their fans. They are not our friends. And that’s okay.
You can still enjoy their work, support their career, and admire their personality without prying into their private lives.

What’s Inappropriate to Ask

Being a celebrity doesn’t mean they owe us details about their personal lives. For example, questions like:

“What’s your sexuality?”
“Are you in a relationship?”
“Can you sell me your underwear?”
“Will you start an OnlyFans?”

…are not okay. These cross personal boundaries and put your favorite in an uncomfortable position. If they want to share something, they will — on their own terms.

Remember: Just because one or two public figures in the same space overshare doesn’t mean everyone should. Privacy is a right, not a privilege.

Stop Assuming & Spreading Rumors

It’s human to be curious, but curiosity doesn’t justify assumptions.
For example, if two actors work together often and share behind-the-scenes stories, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re in a romantic relationship. Don’t create or spread rumors.

And even if they were together, it’s their choice to announce it, not yours to speculate publicly.

Respecting Their Work & Collaborations

We all have our favorite on-screen pairings, but don’t let that turn into negativity.
If your favorite actor stars alongside someone you don’t like — don’t leave hate comments, don’t harass them, and don’t start drama. They’re free to work with whomever they choose, just as you’re free to skip a series you don’t want to watch.

If they announce a new relationship, be happy that they’re happy. If they break up, don’t keep bringing up their ex every chance you get. Support them through change — without making it harder for them.

The Golden Rule: Respect Everyone

It’s okay to disagree. It’s okay to have different favorites. It’s okay to debate.
What’s not okay is:

Harassing people because they don’t share your opinion
Leaving hateful or insulting comments
Engaging in online bullying

The internet is not a free pass to forget your manners. If someone triggers you — block them. Protect your peace without creating drama.

My Safe Space Policy

As our community grows, opinions will multiply — and that’s fine, as long as they’re expressed respectfully.
However, on my page:

Inappropriate comments will be deleted.
People who engage in harassment or hateful behavior will be blocked.

This isn’t about silencing opinions — it’s about protecting the space for positivity and respect.

Final Thought

The best kind of fan is one who supports with kindness. Enjoy the connection, enjoy the work, but always remember: respect first, always.